‘Tis The Season

Every year we work towards a new beginning with the new year. All the things we have gone through both good and bad. For some of us we experienced many good things. Marriages, relationships, children, promotions, etc….We look back on these things and praise that positivity. Many of us also faced unexpected events. Death, job loss, medical conditions…etc…Its difficult sometimes to think of these things. We try to reinforce those negative feelings with positive ones. Remember Jaime Escalante once said, “A negative times a negative equals a positive.” In that quote its just not really about a mathematical formula. Its also about life. We have to take the negative and replace it with positive.

No matter how much we try to avoid the inevitable, it still happens. Every year that passes brings on new challenges in life. We look back to the holidays we have shared as families. New Years, Easter, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Xmas just to name a few. Sadly with all the chaos in our busy lives we dont seem to find the time to interact with our families. We work, play, socialize with friends and yet we dont stop and think about those that are closest to us.

As a child I remember what it was like to get so many gifts. I could hardly keep up with everything I got. Of course as we get older we realize that Xmas is not so much about the gifts but for the things we appreciate. Life, love, family, friends and the pursuit of happiness. Sadly, there are people less fortunate than many of us that cant afford to cook meals or buy their loved ones gifts. We shouldn’t look down on those people. Sometimes we can get so caught up in our own world that we forget those that suffer. To me it doesn’t matter if some man on the street doesn’t have a job and asks me for a dollar. Thursday night a woman asked me for a dollar. I gave her 5. Its all i had in cash on me at the moment. She went inside and bought something to eat. Not everyone that asks for money wants booze. There are some poeple out there that honestly just might be a ittle short. Ive been there. Believe me, when someone can offer the slightest bit of assistance its appreciated. It may not be shown in a manner that you like but one way or another they do. Others do drugs or drink. It really is up to us to make that better judgement. Ive denied someones request for a handout before. Its nothing to be ashamed of but sometimes we just have to weigh the good with the bad.

Many of us spent countless hours and dollars this Christmas holiday buying gifts for our loved ones. Video games, TVs, cellphones, iphones/ipads (they are in a different class than the average cell phone you know lol), clothes, purses, jewelry, computers…etc…Some that are lucky enough might even get…….A NEW CAR (plays cheesy Price if Right Music here lol). Sometimes we take for granted our lives and our finances. Its nice to have money, nice homes, cars and all of that but thats materialistic stuff. Those are things we really want more than need. Excess money would be great for everyone but not everyone is in a situation to make a shitload of it. We take it as it comes and make the best of it. Sometimes we get a gift that may seem crappy but its not the gift but the thought that counts. The gift that keeps on giving is family and friends. You can get some cool retro piece of electronic gear but you never know when it will break. Family is always there.

For me 2010 has been full of life decisions. I have had many positive and negative things happen in my life this year. In May 2010 I lost a metal brother! Paul Dedrick Gray of Slipknot died. Was a painful loss for me. I drank alot during that period. I mean alot! Recently, I was brought back to the death of my friend Victor who passed away a few years ago. He is the one that left me a sweet drum kit. 2010 for me has been much better than previous years. Ive done my best to stay on track with my life but I have failed in many areas. Ive also found happiness in a great gal that makes me happy. There is not alot expected of me as I dont expect her to give me the world either. Its more of a growing relationship and she just plain kicks ass. Did I mention she is a geek, plays guitar, likes cats lol…..

In 2010 i tried a few things. Things I have done in the past. Ive also lost control of my life and my attitude. Ive allowed myself to get bitchy and annoy friends. I need to work on that. I need to keep working to keep my life on the right track. I think I have been doing pretty well but I could be doing even better. Thats the right attitude am I right? Everyday I wake up life for me continues. A new day with new challenges and goals. One day I wont be here. I might goto sleep and never wake up. I might hop on my motorcycle or in my car and get in a fatal accident. Or I might suddenly die from a heart attack or cancer. I dont know my fate in life and I dont want to know. I do know that I want to live as much as I can. Believe it or not its YOU people that keep me going. When I feel stressed or down about something that quirky little comment that someone leaves me makes me feel better. Its amazing how the power of a word can change someone’s outlook on life.

I think I have done pretty well with many aspects of my life. I keep an active interest in my family and friends. I interact with them all….you all! There are still areas I need to concentrate on. My attitude, my weight, my music both drums and guitar and with the thought of being a daddy/pops/baby daddy/ol’ man/ol’ fart/the guy with the money….lol Lots in store for me in 2011. Im looking to make this new year a craptastic one! Bring on 2011!

In closing I ask you all to spend time with your families and loved ones. Keep an active interest in your kids lives. Hang out with friends. Dont be afraid to try new things in life! You might surprise yourself with enjoying something new. One day we wont be here. Those we care about might not be there next year when I write another post like this in December 2011. Take the time to call or visit your friends and family. Take that time to visit your kids if your a divorced or joint custody parent. Sometimes its the little things we do for others that make such a huge difference in their lives. Make the effort to better yourself. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Its nice to get gifts for the holidays but for me having a birthday on Christmas Eve I sometimes feel cheated. In reality, having family and friends around me every year is a blessing from God, Allah or whomever. I give thanks everyday that my grandmother Cortez is still around. She is the only grandparent I have left. My fathers father died before I was born. All I have ever known of him is his face in a picture and the things he told me about him. My fathers mother died when I was about 5 years old. I knew of her but didnt have those fond memories. My grandfather Cortez died when I was in high school. it was a sudden shock. I didnt have many fond memories of him either. So to make up for all of the time lost with all of my grandparents I am making damn well sure I spend time with the only one I have left. In the end I will be full of pain and sorrow but will be filled with joy of those fond memories. I wish her so many more years to come. The most precious gift you can ever get doesn’t really come in a box. Its knowing that you have family and friends around you…..

Have a safe and happy Christmas and New Year and I wish you all the best to come in a new 2011. Set your goals, aim high and shoot for the stars. There is nothing like the feeling of succeeding in life or on a goal. If you fail at something, get right back at it and keep moving forward. As ive said before, life evolves as we evolve. Make the best of your life. Rather than being jealous of what someone else has, make your own dreams come true and strive to do the best and be the best and you my friends will be the richest person in the world!!


Gill Grylls

Masked Isolation

In a city known for its vast cornfields and as The Hartford of the West, came nine men who with a vivid dream of making their musical aspirations a reality. Known to many as Des Moines Iowa, the nine members of Slipknot referred to their hometown as “Des Fucking Moines Iowa.” In the beginning Slipknot went though many changes in the line-up. Holding true to the bands roots though was one of the founding members of the band. A young rocker named Paul Dedrick Gray. He would lead the band to a future they never really imagined. In the early years of Slipknot every member would tell you that they never imagined becoming the huge rock icons they have become today. Each member in their own representing the band in their own unique way. Paul enjoyed taking the stage and speaking with his fans…their fans! This post is dedicated to the memory of Slipknot’s one and only bassist, (#2) Paul Dedrick Gray.

Paul was born in Los Angeles California on April 8 1972. He died May 24 2010 in Urbandale Iowa in a hotel room. In his 38 years old life he had been though just about everything you can imagine. No need to go into these things but in his mid-20s Paul and Slipknot began their trek across the world looking for just a piece of music history. Paul would recall the times they played local venues like Hairy Mary’s and there would be only a few people in attendance but they played anyways for the people that did show up. When they began touring with Ozzfest their chance to be noticed had finally come. They hit the Ozzfest with such force that they became one of the driving forces of the tour. On that stage in the beginning to the end was Paul.

We know him by many names. Pig mask, #2..etc are just a few. Slipknot at this time was chaotic and energetic but most of all, a mystery. No one knew the identity of these nine men. After each performance the members of the band would reach out to their fans. The suspense of not know who was who was exciting to the fans. Many times they stood next to a member and never knew it. Although members like Corey, Joey and Shawn were always out to greet fans, Paul would make his presence known. Speaking with fans and fulfilling their wishes. Signing autographs and taking pics with them covering his face. At this time Slipknot wanted to keep their identities hidden. Paul was easily noticed by his Tribal S tattoo. He became a fan favorite not only because of his friendly demeanor around fans but because he truly enjoyed speaking with them. Getting their input on their music was most important!

Paul enjoyed performing for his fans and for the love of his music. He loved his brothers passionately. He loved his fans with every beat of his heart. In Slipknot Paul hid behind a mask. A mask that personified who he was on the concert stage. In the public he would wear the mask when representing Slipknot but when he was out with his family and just being to himself he was just Paul. I can’t say there was never a time when he denied a fan an autograph or a photo op because there were those times. Among the madness of being a rockstar and getting the “job” done on time he had to follow along the itinerary. At times this meant cutting short meet and greets with fans. When Paul put on his mask he was a different person. He was #2 the pig mask. He was a bassist that went out every night on that stage and gave it everything he had. There was times he performed sick or even hurt but he still walked out on that stage because he had his pride and he knew the fans wanted their fill. It was this devotion that Paul felt not only to himself but to his fans. The Maggots!

Behind those masks was epic. Paul would tell you just how crazy it was. The blood, sweat, tears and the stench that came from those masks. It was horrid but day in and day out they still suited and masked up for another go with the craziest fuckers on the planet. Paul would tell you how the stench would send them into this state of euphoria. Along with the heat from wearing the coveralls and the constricting breathing from the mask, the band would find it hard to perform. No one knew what it was like to be in Slipknot but the nine themselves. Even though who toured with them could not comprehend the insanity they endured among each other. They would blast each song with so much intensity that they often found themselves fighting one another on stage and throwing shit at each other. The aggression of being in an insane band the stress of living together on one bus. It all came out on stage. This combined with their SiC demented minds at work. Each Slipknot show with the unique minds of each member brought a show worth seeing every time.

As each of us followed Slipknot from their early days to their mega ranks among the rock gods we followed their evolution from being totally hidden behing their masks to becoming a face known among the crowds. As the masks came off we began to learn more about the people that some of us looked at as our heros. Be it you are a vocalist, DJ, guitarist, bassist….or whatever, we saw the nine for who they are as human beings rather than some alive crash test dummy that demolished the stage. As Paul unmasked he became one of the more common known members of the band. As many look up to the frontman or the guitarists and drummers of a band, Paul as a bassist was different. He was a founding member. He was that guy that you could walk up to and just have a conversation with about anything and he enjoyed the company. As many would approach him and say just how much they loved the band and his bass work, others would approach him differently. More times than he could count he had been approached by fans that had so many problems at home and with life in general. Many of those fans looking to end their lives because of their problems. Overcome with emotions and from the joy of meeting someone that changed their lives they would tell Paul just how much their music had helped them recover and kept them from doing anything tragic to themselves. If you have never had anyone tell you that you saved their lives because of the art that you created then you can’t understand how Paul felt everytime he heard this. It was the most powerful thing he had ever done for anyone. It made him stop and think and realize that even with so many people that hated their music and what they stood for, there was those that benefited from the art he loved creating and performing. To save a life is a powerful feeling. It cant be described.

Many times fans would be disappointed because they wanted to meet Paul with the mask on. Other fans didnt really care if they ever met the band and knew their personalities or not. Behind Paul’s mask was everything that he lived. As much as we all loved him for the human being he was and the musician he became to be, he had his own demons. The mask was his own personal isolation. Although Paul could spend hours on the stage totally destroying the fans with his presence he still had things that haunted him. Most common that we know of was his drug use. Fans know of his incident where he was arrested for possession of paraphernalia. He ended up being sentenced to one year probation. As humans we all make mistakes in our lives. Paul no doubt made his own.

In the end he paid the ultimate price with his drug use. That does not take away from the legacy he leaves behind. As we all do things we later may regret we have to pay the consequences no matter what they may be. For Paul, it cost him his life and his daughter. Paul died at 38 years old. He never got to see his daughter October Dedrick Gray. As tragic as that is he did get to enjoy the love and passion of knowing that he was bringing a beautiful child into this world. October may not have her father in physical presence but he has become her guardian angel that will care for her and look after her for the rest of her life. Paul loved his daughter without ever seeing her. He was so happy to become a father. He had so much to live for. He had his music career, his fans, his brothers, his family and most of all his wife and daughter.

Many today call Paul Gray one of the greatest bassist to ever live. A common thing said about a person after they have passed on. Paul was indeed a great bassist but he would tell you he wasn’t the greatest. He just loved what he did and he loved spicing up his playing. His live performances were a bit different than his recorded performances. During the recording of an album everything must come together perfect. Everything must fit together like a puzzle. On stage there was more room for play where the band could improvise their parts to their mood and tastes for that day. Thats what makes each musician their own. Thats what made Paul a unique bassist. Apart from his improvised parts he also used a left-handed bass. Something not done by many. He would play with or without a pick and utilized the finger-picking style often. His bass sound was heavy with a very low end.

When Paul died the world of heavy metal was silenced. As Slipknot was on their break from touring and writing because of other members commitments to other projects, Paul continued to work. His mind never fell short of ideas. He never gave up a moment to pick up his bass and work on something that came to mind. The day he died his fans felt something they never ever imagined feeling. Slipknot seemed to be a band that would never die as with their members. News broke out quickly of Paul’s death. We all can remember that moment we heard and what we had been doing at that very moment. We begin to remember all those great times we had listening to the music, meeting the band and for those of us lucky to be blessed with his presence we remembered the good times.

Masked as #2 Paul still went on to perform. Even with things that bothered him and the isolation he felt having to deal with his problems he still put everything he had into his performances and the fans gave that energy right back to them. He fed off that energy and it fueled his desire to be the best bassist he could be. One can only imagine what Paul was feeling in that hotel room # 431. Was he happy? Was he sad? Was he confused? I spoke to Paul days before and he was happy. I told him about my other job interest with another band and he couldn’t have been more happy for me. On the phone I sensed something wrong with him. Something seemed like it wasnt right. As much as he loved to perform and meet his fans he was falling back into his own Masked Isolation. His inner demons began to haunt him and overcome him. We can be angry at him for doing the drugs again but we have to forgive him for his faults and love him for what he left us. Paul was not just some guy that played bass. He was legendary in his own way. Maybe the music socialites wont ever notice what he meant to us all but those of us that loved him and followed him along his road to success, we know what he meant to us all and to the music industry.

Friends of many bands dedicated their shows to Paul. Their own way of being able to pay their respects to him. They shared the love for music that he had. Not one of us know what Paul was feeling in that hotel room. As much as we want answers we will never get them. Paul isolated himself from life. He knew what he had but something was bothering him. Something was on his mind. Was it the stress from becoming a new father? Was it his life at home with his wife? Those questions dont need to be answered. They are not our business.

In many ways I could relate to Paul and that feeling of isolation. As a rockstar Paul was noticed in many places. He couldn’t live a normal life anymore without being noticed along the way somewhere. Restaurants, hotels, bars, airports, even on the streets. That alone can be enough to make someone feel isolated. Like their life and privacy has been compromised. He dealt with that the best he could. For me, it was being noticed by people. Im not a rockstar. The stress of work, being away from home and not having a social life was hard for me. Still is. That alone is isolation. It makes you feel like your options are limited. Could Paul have felt like his options were limited? Maybe he felt as if though he had no where to turn. In life the people we love the most we dont always confide in for help. We begin to think that we will bother someone with our problems when they probably have their own. We dont want that burden.

I wish I could have known what Paul felt in that hotel room. I would have taken it all up for him. I would have given my life for that guy. I loved him like a brother. Maybe I never knew him well enough but we shared a passion for something that touched our hearts the same. That alone makes two people have a bond. I wish I could have known his pain, sorrow or whatever he felt. When Paul died I felt like shit. I felt like part of me died. I wanted to eat up that pain and if I could have told God to take me instead I would have. He had so much to live for. He had Slipknot, his brothers, his friends, his family and his wife and daughter. At the time he died I felt like I had nothing. I felt like shit. I felt as though I didnt deserve to be alive while someone so beautiful was taken from us. Paul made a difference in the world. He touched the lives of so many people/Maggots. People loved Paul. I stand corrected, as people still love Paul and will never forget the music he touched our lives with. As an older man at 34, many bands have touched my life like Metallica, Rush, Van Halen…Slipknot and Paul have reached that plateau with me. Their music has become part of the soundtrack to my life.

As we mourn the loss of our friend, family member and hero we remember the times that mattered to us. Maybe it was that look Paul gave you at a show or the handshake and hug you got from him at a meet and greet. Maybe it was that quick moment he spent signing something for you and taking a pic with you that you would always remember. For me, I had numerous pics with Paul. I cherished those pics as I have all others ive taken with rockstars. Sadly, when a hard drive totally died I lost everything including those pics. I was devastated when Paul died that I lost those pics. As much as I wand to share those frozen moments in time with you all I can’t. I can remember those times vividly and I cherish them with everything I have. I can share the great times with you all. Those are meaningless to others but for me they mean the world. Im sure all of you that were touched by Paul have your own memories of him. Remember them. Cherish them. Those memories will never die. They will live on through us for the rest of our lives. We will take those memories with us to our own graves and to eternity. Paul is gone but not forgotten by us all.

As time has gone on many fans have felt huge disappointment with Paul’s death. Many are just cold-hearted fuckers that dont realize that a decision to move on in any capacity is hard to make. Paul can never be replaced. There was only one Paul Gray. #2 lives on though every Maggot. When Paul died many fans became upset because nothing seemed to have been done in his honor. In defense of the family and the bands privacy to mourn on their own I respect that. For the fans though, they feel a void has been left in their hearts. A man they have cherished for over ten years is suddenly taken from us and nothing seems to have been done for his memory. Fans have posted on many blogs including my own on their feelings towards the band and the family that nothing formally has been done to honor the life and music of Paul Gray. As I stated earlier I can respect the privacy of the family and the remaining eight members but from a fans perspective they feel as though he has been forgotten. Nothing has been done to remember him. Many fans wanted a memorial service in which they would be able to honor his life together as a whole. Nothing. Instead fans around the world were left to mourn in their own way. When Dimebag Darrell was murdered a memorial was made for the public to attend where not only fans but other rockstars could remember their friend and pay their respects. Same was done with Michael Jackson. Many fans have felt that something of this magnitude should have been done for them.

In Paul’s death there is a silence. There is that very same isolation he felt. His family kept his memorial services private. That is expected. The family has also chosen to keep his final resting place location a secret. Although, its publicly known where Paul is buried, many fans feel as though they should be allowed to know where he is buried so they can pay their own respects one day. I can totally understand that. At the same time I have mixed emotions about it as well. Where there are fans that merely want to pay their respects to him there are those that dont give a shit. Many would destroy it and others that have managed to find him have even stolen from his grave. This my friends is why the family wants to keep his location a secret. If you think going to a man’s grave and stealing from it is ok and that you are taking a piece of him with you then you are fucking wrong. If I caught any of you doing this i’d fuck you up. It’s disrespectful and just wrong to steal from him and his family. Going back to that isolation, his family now feels this. Now his family and his friends feel that they must isolate him from the world that although loves him also seems to think that its ok to dishonor his memory. Its a shame that a few people can fuck up something for so many other people.

I wish that one day the band and the family will find it in their hearts to do something for Paul where fans around the world can learn more about the man behind the mask. Let that isolation from within that mask go and show the world who Paul Gray was. We just got a taste of his life and his love but those that knew him got so much more. In a way I find it selfish that they would want to keep his memory so private. When Paul inked his name on that Roadrunner Records contract he was signing his life away to the world. His life was not his own anymore. He was a public figure that would one day become and iconic figure. Paul was loved by millions of people that adored him and his presence on the concert stage. We as friends and fans don’t ask the family and the band for his entire life but just for a look into what he loved about music. Its been heard in interviews what he has done and how he has felt about his career and his fans but I think its time that his brothers in Slipknot and his family let that isolation go and let his fans know about who he was in their eyes. We know what Paul meant to us all. We know what Paul felt about his music and his fans and although we heard the press conference in which a few people spoke of what he meant to them, many believe that those willing to tell their stories and share their love of Paul with the world tell his story through their own words.

In recent months, Slipknot released a new DVD highlighting one of the final shows Paul did with the band. This DVD compilation was dedicated to the memory of their brother Paul. A beautiful way to immortalize their brother. As i write this I believe that the band and family are definitely due their privacy and their feelings to forever be theirs, but I think fans are seeking something that will help them come to terms with the loss of him. Maybe we never will hear what his family and his brothers passionately feel about him but thats ok. Its their right to lock those memories forever and to only share with one another. I think many fans just want to remember Paul by seeing how others feel about him. I think many fans would like to one day in the future see a DVD about the life of Paul Gray and what he has meant to other musicians. Surely Paul Gray inspired many people including other signed artists.

Maybe one day something will be done to honor a man who truly loved his work and his fans. For now fans may feel his memory has been masked behind isolation that no one wants others to know about. Paul would want Slipknot to go on. He could never be replaced. He will be there in spirit every time they take the stage. If the band decides to just do shows or if they decide to make another album, it is their decision to do so. We can agree with that or not but its their decision to make not ours. We can support them or not. Slipknot has agreed to do some shows in 2011. If you are attending those shows I ask you to do something. Close your eyes for a brief moment and think about Paul. He will be there. He will feel your love and he will be up there jammin with the guys. You will be able to feel his life, his spirit, his music resonating through those speakers and into your hearts. You feel a shiver. That shiver is a little piece of Paul Gray entering you and forever will be with you. Open your eyes and what do you see, you see the beautiful creation that Paul Gray helped create, maintain and breath life even after his death!

** My thoughts**

I miss you Paul. With every ounce of life I have left inside me you are never forgotten. Man I remember the first time I met you. I remember the laughs. For years my favorite song has always been Surfacing but when you died nothing hit me more than Snuff. Not for the lyrics but for the music. The key, the mood and the feelings that it gives me. It allows me to remember everything about you that was great. I wish to fucking god that I could wish you back into this world and ask him to take me instead but thats not possible. I wish you could see your daughter and hold her but in your own ways in spirit you already have. To the Gray family and the remaining eight of Slipknot, Paul will never be forgotten. His memory lives on. That will never die. As you feel your own sorrow for his loss please understand the loss the world is feeling. You lost a loved one and the Maggots/fans have lost a hero, an idol a person that they looked up to. For his own faults in life that are looked upon by the press and others as negative, his spirit and his will to please his fans has touched so many. What Paul has done to help others lives and to save others from meeting their own demise by far over powers the negative things he did in his life. Paul Gray lives on for the legacy he left behind for his family, friends and the future musicians with whom the lives he has touched.

With much love and respect to the Gray Family, Slipknot and the legion of Maggots out there around the world…..

Thank you,

G Grylls

Masked Isolation…..(A Work in Progress)

In the process of writing this piece. This is a short piece dedicated to the memory of Paul Dedrick Gray and my mixed feelings of his death and other shit. A little different from what I have posted in the past but with some of the same things. Please bare with me and this will be posted ASAP.

Give me a few days or so. Its not gonna be long but I want to make sure i post what I want to say.

If your a Slipknot or Paul Gray fan that has felt a huge void has been left out of his legacy then you might enjoy this article. Paul died in May 2010 and since then not much has been said of his death or has been done about it. As we as fans, friends, family..etc accept and deal with the way things are being handled, some feel that his memory has been put aside and left for shit. This piece will concentrate on that.

This will be based on my own feelings and emotions. This article in no way will be written in part of the feelings of the family or the band. Many might have mixed feelings on what I will say but I think the Maggots that feel Paul’s memory has been isolated will agree with me. Many knew the man behind the mask. They knew his name, his number, his masks and his voice but they didnt know much about what made him tick and what inspired him. Interviews with him have been posted all over You Tube and other sites but nothing formally celebrating his life has been said. This is where this piece comes in.

This piece is not being written to upset Brenna Gray, Tony Gray or the remaining members of the band we know and love called Slipknot. Its merely about what Paul Gray to me represented to the music industry and the world. To the legions of fans all over the world. I ask you to read this piece when it is done and leave your comments good or bad. Im not here asking for praise or hatred. Just your honest opinions to this. So in the next few days, possibly Thursday or Friday this piece will be published on my blog. Right here.

If this sounds interesting to you then please stay tuned. Those looking for iphone information….im sorry this blog is really meant for my personal feelings about life, travel, motorcycles and work. The few articles on here about iphone hacking is merely because I did this for a friend.

Thanks for your understand and please stay tuned in the next few days for this work to be released.


Paul Backstage

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Its different looking at that house now. The area is different. The neighborhood was much friendlier back in the days. I used to see BJ Vana speeding up and down the street in his blue Mitsubishi Eclipse lol. The guy that lived across the street from me we called John Travolta. lol. he dressed like him. Cant remember their names.

There was a cool kid that lived at the second house to the end on the same side as my house named Marcus. He accidentally shot himself to death while playing with a gun. Sux. The guy that lived at the at the corner house was named Bill. he owned a small convenience store down the road called…Bill’s.

Across the street lived this lady. Cant remember her name or her daughters name. The mother was dating this grungy ol’ guy named Steve. He would come over and jam guitar with me when he was drunk. It was cool though.

David Bialas, a retired firefighter and friend of my fathers lived on the street for awhile. Next door to me on the left was Craig Zimmerman, the guy that worked for the funeral home. Then Anessa, then BJ. Cant remember the others but there was this one guy that used to have this yellow corvette. he used to wash it like everyday and i used to call him Tom Selleck. He had that scragly moustache too lol. Then later Tim Schnabel and his mom moved in there. Ashley lived on the second to the last house. The only 2-story house on the street. Then at the end was my ol’ friends Jay and Louis Lyons. Then Mr Stepp. This kid named Ryan.

Oh and the ol’ insurance man from Rosenberg Carlos Becerra lived on my street too for awhile. RIP Carlos!

Lots of history there. I remember my friend Andy lived right off Parrott. A quick run down the street to his house. We used to drag the launch ramp out and skateboard for hours. Yes even my fatass!! I had a few boards back then. I had two Tony Hawk ones including his trademark blue and pink one with the skull and cross and a black one with a wider body. I also had a Steve Caballero board. I had VSW wheels on the Cab board and P. Peralta wheels on the Hawk boards.

When i turned 14 i got my own phone line. still remember the phone number. it was 232-2977. we didnt use area codes back then if i remember.

My mother worked at Moore’s which later became Price-Lo. My father worked for TDCJ-ID. I used to drive an old 92 Toyota Corolla that was new. It wasnt fancy but it was new and great on gas. Well gas used to be under a buck back then. I later got a pretty cool Pontiac Sunfire that was blue and gray and had tinted windows with red interior lighting and grey seats. it was cool as fuck. Then the door got smashed when a lady hit me trying to pass me while i was making a left turn. Naturally i was 16 and got the ticket….please explain that to me!!!

I went to Lamar Cons. High School and graduated Class of 94! Back to the street….well there used to be this guy. Cant remember his name but he used to sit in his garage everyday and take his old black truck apart and fix it. It was his hobby. When i was a kid my neighbor used to be a guy named Mark Nieto. When he turned 16 he gave me his badass all chrome Mongoose bike. I thought i was big shit with that thing cause it was freewheel. It was also a huge upgrade from my old BMX one lol. My father used to have this old ass Chevrolet Silverado i think it was. It was called the Big 10. It was grey and old as fuck. He used to park it in front of the mailbox and would dart out of the house to goto a fire if his pager went off.

wow…..i remember alot of shit from being a kid. there is more that is at the tip of my tongue but I cant quite grasp it all. OOOOOOOOH in the same spot where my dad used to park his truck in front of the mailbox is also the same place where Jeff Steinocher and I used to get fucked up every weekend. Sitting on the bed of his truck drinking a shitload of beer and being loud. It was also the spot where Edward Galvan brought over his new, but it was really old, Chevelle or whatever it was. It was blue. Jeff and I got some motor oil and put it all over Eddie’s tires and when he took off he was sliding all over the damn road. lol. it was funny. had to be there to see that shit!!

ok so thats my memories of this ol’ house……



My Old House

Apple to Release iOS 4.3 This Month/December

If you already have jailbroken your phone and upgraded the bb to 6.15.00 you might wanna know that Apple is once again releasing new firmware. iOS 4.3 is set to come out in the next week or two with App Subscriptions.

You can find info on this release easily just by googling iOS 4.3. If your a jailbreaker/unlocker then you know by now to NOT upgrade your phone. Well, if you upgraded to bb 6.15.00 you wont be able to from my understanding. When you upgraded the bb you pretty much rendered your phone only able to install firmware by using custom IPSWs.

Those using the 3GS will be happy to know that an untethered jailbreak is soon to be available. Its a known issue that the GPS chip has been disabled after the new Ultrasn0w 1.2 unlock. Some have reported that thier GPS is still working. Well I guess your in the lucky few…..somehow! Ive read that the dev team is looking for a fix for that if possible. More info is available on the limera1n website and the iphone dev team blog website.

check em out. oh and down with Steve Jobs and his bullshit OSs. Sorry Steve your phones are being hacked all over the world and you cant stop it!!! BWHAHAHAAHHA!

Rumors in the Wind

Over the last few days I have read and heard various rumors about Slipknot. Mostly about them making a new album. Who starts this shit? I mean come on. Obviously people have nothing better to do. Im sure the culprit is amongst the Slipknot haters. Wouldn’t surprise me to say the least.

In May 2010 Slipknot lost bassist Paul Gray. He was also a founding member of the band. Late 2009 Slipknot had just finished a string of US and European tour dates. This ended their run for All Hope is Gone. With the band looking to take some time off and eventually look into other projects in the coming year. Corey and James to begin a new Stone Sour project and Shawn with his DLR project. Can’t rule out Shawn E either. Not only is he the Stone Sour bassist but he also is Slipknot’s Stage Manager so he is on tour with the Knot and then with SS as bassist. People, these guys need rest. Some have families, wives, kids…etc. With the death of Paul Gray that brought much to think about. The bands future. Touring, writing…etc…. Its not easy to lose someone close to you as many of you should know. Especially someone you consider like a brother! I know how that goes! Its also not easy to make a transition from being constantly on the road to home life and then knowing soon your going to be doing it all over again. Sort of like your own prison so to speak. Imagine how a man feels knowing he has committed a crime and although may be free he will eventually be off somewhere else away from his family and loved ones. Away from him normal life. If you think rockstar life is normal then you people are pretty fucked in the head. Its not! I can’t relate by means of saying im a rockstar because im not but ive seen it in front of me with my own eyes how they do deal with it. Its not always pretty.

Rumors im sure are spread to sometimes make people have hope. Sort of like Slipknot’s last album with its catchy title All Hope is Gone. Well, All hope is not gone! You have to give those guys time to mourn and think. Its not easy to go back into something so soon after tragedy. The Stone Sour guys managed to do so. Those that went to their shows probably had a great time. For those on the stage it was hell. Losing someone close to you is not just something you can forget in a few weeks or even months. It takes time. When Neil Peart of Rush lost his daughter and wife he took time off. He told his bandmates that he was done. “Consider me retired” Neil said. Rush took many years off. Time it took for Neil to recover his urge for going back to work with the guys as he said.

Its not known how long Slipknot will be out of the loop. Does it really matter? As a fan if you are a fan reading this, you should have much respect for these guys. Corey said on his official twitter page that he is not even sure about the upcoming 2011 tour dates. he has mixed emotions about it. So one would ask why would he not have problems touring with Stone Sour but with Slipknot he would? Well, with Stone Sour its a different band. There was no Paul in that band. There was no constant reminder of what he lost. Besides, who’s to say Corey didn’t feel like doing those shows? Just sayin……With Slipknot there is that constant reminder of #2. His brother. Their brother. Their friend. It stabs you in the fucking heart constantly. I go on with my life everyday but there isn’t a moment that I dont think about Paul or some moment I shared with the guy at least one throughout the day. Something in my daily life becomes a reminder. Its not easy to deal with but it does get better with time. Other members of Slipknot have other projects they might be working on and some are quite apparent. Thats their own gig. Its not Slipknot. Those projects may not bring on the pain of losing their brother but believe me they still feel it. Daily!

Many ask why the family of Paul Gray still keep his burial a secret. Well let me say this. To those of you that don’t know. Some people did find his grave. I did mention as to what cemetery but NOT the location. That information was made available in his obituary so its not like that was a secret. What is kept a secret is where he actually is. Some people found him and in the past months some pretty fucked up fans stole items from his resting place. Seriously people. Do some of you fans feel its ok to steal from someone’s grave? Those items left there were left for a reason and were not meant for YOU to take. THIS is why the family has wanted to keep it a secret. Can you imagine what people would be doing over at Michael Jackson’s grave if they had public access to it? Yes people its a guarded area. Only people of importance are allowed in that area where MJ is.

So in closing I ask those that are Slipknot fans reading this to do me a favor. Well not only me but the band as well. If you want bonafide news about the band then goto their website. http://www.slipknot1.com Thats about the best place for news. I dont have news for you. Neither does any other site. Corey stated that other memebers mentioned things about a new album. Like Joey. Well, it was a pretty shitty thing to say in my opinion when he didnt know for sure that would happen and not even getting with the other guys. Im sure many of the rumors stemmed from his comment. Still though im sure his comment in regards to a new album was meant to ease the fans minds about their future. He was looking out for their best interests but in a way that caused quite a stir among the maggot community. So thats why I ask if your a fan goto the bands homepage for real news. Give these guys time to heal. They need it. You see it from a totally different perspective. These guys made the music that healed your minds. What about these guys minds? They need healing. Its time for you all to give that healing medicine back. Dont rush them or harass them for a new album, new songs, tour dates or whatever. Just respect them and their wishes until the see it fit. If they never choose to do another album or write another song then so be it. Respect mother fuckers! You want it, you got to give it!

Much respect to Sid, Joey, Paul R.I.P., Chris, James, Craig, Shawn, Mick and Corey. You guys take all the time you need and if you come back thats fucking awesome….If you don’t I personally understand. I hope the rest of you can as well……


I wear the Slipknot markings for a reason. For the love I have for this band. I may not feel the same way musically as I did back in the late 90s but this band was definitely part of my life for over 10 years and is a part of the soundtrack to my life. I wear the Tribal S, Slipknot in Japanese Kanji and the coveted #9 9-ball. Although musically I dont listen to Slipknot much anymore, they are still part of my life. I remember all the days and stories from the tours. Muscially I have moved on. Away from the heavier metal and onto my roots. Where I started. My first bands to ever hear was Ozzy, Van Halen and Rush. Ive moved away from guitar and onto drums. Learning the style and techniques of Neil Peart. As an owner of one of the rare R30 Drum Kits I cherish that thing. One because its an awesome drum kit and two because a friend that shared his passion for Rush died and left it to me. Its too beautiful a kit to let it sit there and deteriorate so I play it. Musically I have moved on to other styles and back to my roots of old rock and classical but I still enjoy the occasional metal song and Slipknot has etched their spot in that list. I had a discussion with a “friend” before he died about my musical changes and how I felt. He told me to move on and enjoy it. Enjoy the music the way you like it. If you cant enjoy it, you can’t live it. Although at that moment this friend felt like I didnt like him anymore he knew why I was changing. He knew it wasn’t personal. He knew in the end we all evolve. Evolution is part of who we are. In retrospect, if we all look at ourselves now and then go back and see ourselves from our past…..we wouldn’t be the same person. We change. Maybe not entirely but to an extent we change. We do things we may regret and things we are glad we did but in the end we evolve and its our decisions to make in our own lives and not anyone elses……..

iPhone 3G/3GS Unlocking w/ Ultrasn0w 1.2 Battery Drainage Fix

if you are experiencing horrid battery usage from your phone AFTER hacktivating it then goto this site and read this article



you can use a valid AT&T SIM card to activate the phone. I didnt have this problem when unlocking my friends phone. I had an old AT&T SIM in the phone so as soon as it was done unlocking, rebooting and opening iTunes the phone said activation complete and was done. When the phone doesn’t activate using the SIM it is constantly trying to activate via SIM so its draining your battery. Read the article about this fix.

Sorry, I have not applied this fix so I really can’t help anyone with it. I’d suggest asking the devs or other members from a forum. This is just up to help those looking for the battery fix. The fix is contained in Redsn0w 0.9.6 beta 6. download it free. Link is on the page I listed above.


Rush Time Machine Tour 2011 Tour Dates Confirmed but Not Final

Rush will be taking their Time Machine Tour back on the road in the USA starting March 30, 2011. Mostly in markets that did not get a stop on the 2010 run. Chicago will see another show at United Center and a string of Canadian dates are added as well.

In May Rush will be taking the trip to Europe with the tour. Many dates not confirmed yet but many are confirmed and tickets sales are already begininng in some markets. Here are the following dates so far.

Time Machine Tour 2011 USA

March 30 – Ft Lauderdale FL – BAC Center

April 1 – Greensboro NC – Coliseum

April 3 – Nashville TN – Bridgestone Arena

April 5 – Louisville KY – KFC Yum Center (really there is a place called this?) LOL

April 6 – Toledo OH – Huntington Center

April 8 – Hershey NJ – Giant Center

April 10 – New York NY – MSG The Garden

April 12 – Chicago IL – United Center

April 15 – Cleveland OH – Quicken Arena

April 17 – Detroit MI – Palace of Auburn Hills

April 19 – Hamilton ON CAN – Copps Colesium

April 20 – Montreal QC CAN – Bell Center

April 22 – Baltimore MD – 1st Mariner Arena

Time Machine Tour 2011 Europe
(not final)

May 4 – Helsinki Finland – Hartwall Arena

May 6 – Stockholm Sweden – Globe

May 8 – Malmo Sweden – Malmo Arena

May 12 – Dublin Ireland – O2

May 14 – Glasgow Scotland – SECC

May 16 – Sheffield England – Motorpoint Arena

May 19 – Manchester England – MEN Arena

May 21 – Newcastle England – Metro Radio Arena

May 22 – Birmingham England – LG Arena

May 25 – London England – O2

May 27 – Rotterdam Holland – Ahoy Arena

May 29 – Frankfurt Germany – Festhalle